I woke up startled when the conch echoed through the temple for chanting (Naamasmaran). It was 6:00AM and the chanting had already begun. How did I sleep so much today? Shree Maharaj might be waiting for me! I began gathering my bedding when reality stung my mind – Shree Maharaj is not amongst us anymore. Just last night the earthly body of Shree Maharaj merged into the universe of 5 elements (Earth, Water, Fire, Wind and Ether); the funeral has not yet extinguished and I can still feel the heat from it. My mind though is just not ready to accept the fact that Shree Maharaj has taken Mahanirvana (reunion with the supreme spirit)
Every moment of the last 12-13 years of my life have passed in his company, his service and his thoughts. His existence had become my entire being, even my breathe. Me as a separate being, my ‘ego’ had dissolved into him. I saw the world from his eyes. I conducted every task, only with a key thought of gaining his appreciation and approval – nothing else. Within this small timeframe, Shree Maharaj moulded me every moment. He bathed me with tears of affection while at times he showered me with his fire of anger; he tested me with a harsh fatherly sight and at times covered me with a motherly affection for my mistakes. Many a times, he supported me by holding my hand and stopped me from stumbling while on other occasions he merely watched me as an indifferent spectator even when I as going through the most stringent and difficult circumstances. When I gained his confidence he favoured me with a shower of rare flowers, but harshly reprimanded my careless mistakes too.
And therefore, the first thought that entered was ‘I was late’. I took a quick shower and hurried to the temple shrine of Shree Baba Maharaj. I sat down for my usual meditation and closed my eyes. But today, the memories of Shree Maharaj gathered around in my mind. So I finally let go of my meditation and started framing each memory as it unfold itself.
Today, its been 16 years since the Mahanirvana of Shree Maharaj, but the journey of his memories is still not over. Even today, I feel his pleasant being around me and my heart fills up with those innumerable memories and wet my eyes – even Today!!
These memories have become the ray of light for me. Lets hope this light helps show direction to the innumerable devotees out there.
|| I am giving your message to all ||
|| I am singing your name with all love ||